They had been in love with each other since the time they didn’t even know what being in love means. Theirs was a relationship everyone envied. This was the very fact that made him struggle to keep holding her hand even when it stopped meaning anything to either of them.
She was attractive, elegant, reticent, intelligent and easily dominated. He was smart, well-mannered and a downright charmer. He loved being envied and she believed that the love was for her. Whatever be the reasons, their bond had survived for the better part of 14 years. He charmed her into submission and she drifted along. But he always credited himself with being an ideal partner. He was considerate, undemanding, unquestioning and responsive to all her needs and wants. Just one thing pricked him now. He needed to talk about it; not because she deserved to know the truth but because he needed to get it off his conscience.
He was jolted back to reality when he realized that the waiter was offering him another drink. He gratefully accepted. He never drank too much, but the reason he avoided drinking was the very reason he gulped down another drink tonight – alcohol helped him blur out the truth.
They went back to their palatial apartment after the party. Now was the time. He went and hugged her. She just looked at him, surprised. There had been no show of affection in this house for almost two years now. “I am sorry,” he burst out weeping. A faint glint crossed her eyes. He was taken aback for a moment but then thought he had just imagined it. He had to continue before he lost the nerve.
“I have always been unfair to you. I promised to love you all my life but midway down the line, the warmth was lost. I could see you taking tremendous efforts to reach out to me but I didn’t respond. I apologize for all of it…”
His wife stroked a finger against her wedding ring. “I have always loved you, honey. What’s got into you suddenly? You even drank too much tonight. I guess you should just go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“No Susan, I need to finish what I want to say. I might not be able to bring myself to talk about this ever again. I always tried being a good husband, not realizing that it wasn’t enough. Then three years back, I met Alana. I was just too stressed by everything in life at that point of time. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel guilty about what I was doing. I tried quite a few times to end everything and come back home to you but something kept pulling me back to her.”
Susan looked on unblinkingly. He expected her to cry, be angry, break down, but she just looked at him. Her face refused to give away any emotion. After what seemed like an eternity, she took a deep breath. “Three years? Why? You kept me in darkness for three years! You left me struggling alone to keep our marriage going for three years! Why tonight…?”
“She met with an accident last week. The doctors tried their best to save her but she passed away two days back. I couldn’t even go to see her one last time. What would I go as? What relationship did I have with her? She upheld her repute while she lived, and I didn’t want to abuse it after her death. But I couldn’t live with the guilt. I had to confess to you…”
Susan smiled warmly. “I wish you would have told me sometime back darling. Alana might have lived. You might have lived! The police will arrive here any minute. They have received an anonymous package of photographs of you and Alana together. It will be better for you if you run off right now. I will tell the police that I know nothing of your whereabouts. That’s the least I can do. For old times sake…”
