Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Lingering Whimper

It had been years since she saw the inside of a local train. She couldn’t even remember the last time. She was never permitted to be a part of the crowd. Hers was an extremely influential family and she was supposed to abide by the set ‘standards’. She, however, always found a comfort in crowds. They were her only source to lose herself. Now, she was a daily commuter.

She wondered why some women sneaked quick glances at her. It didn’t occur to her that a woman in her early 50s laden with jewellery and wearing the most expensive silk, sitting between two plump women smelling of fish might be an amusing sight.

Two weeks back she had gotten onto the same train – 5.17 from Churchgate. She could even recognize some familiar faces in the train now but these were not the faces she wanted to see. Then she saw the same pretty girl, today looking more beautiful than ever in a sky blue dress. She could feel a dead weight falling into the pit of her stomach…the same feeling that she had everyday.

As the girl took a seat, she began staring at her again with a faint hint of tears in her eyes. She then spotted a glitter on her ring finger. The girl saw her staring at her hand. “I got engaged yesterday”, she told the strange old woman. There was something unusual about this woman but for the girl, who had grown up without a mother or family, anyone showing any concern or interest in her was welcome. That night again the old woman could not sleep. Thoughts of the girl were giving her restless dreams. It had been so long. She was getting married. This was a right time to meet her. A right time to start forming a relationship…

The next day, the woman was majorly let down when the girl didn’t board the train. The disappointment slowly turned into fright as days passed by. She would wake up drenched in sweat calling out for her. She would smile at random people because she mistook them for her. She would suddenly turn around hoping to see her sitting behind. As the train started moving, she begged it to stop…she had left someone behind.

2 weeks later, she was utterly unrecognizable. Her jewellery was not around her and she didn’t care where it was. Though she was still draped with silk, it carried a stench as she had been wearing it since almost a week. Her previously neatly oiled and tied hair was now completely disheveled. Then she saw her again…the same pretty girl, in a pink floral dress, waving out to her. She couldn’t stop herself anymore. She ran towards the girl to finally hold her close. She couldn’t hear the women screaming behind her, she couldn’t feel he pain as she heard the tyres of the train screeching to a halt, she didn’t care anymore. She had found her girl…

She had always loved life. She would never kill herself. But this time, she couldn’t ignore the cries of her daughter calling out to her…

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